Category Archives: Conservativism

Let’s Outlaw All Holidays – Here’s Why

If you haven’t heard, Columbus Day is no longer politically correct. Instead of schools using the holiday to teach kids about EXPLORATION, they are using it to teach kids about EXPLOITATION. According to the video my daughter was assigned to watch at home, Columbus was a selfish, greedy, money-driven, privileged, white-skinned killer who only wanted to make a fast buck by abusing his connections to European power and murdering dark-skinned indigenous American peoples. Being of both European and Indigenous American descent, I am not taking sides on this. I can see it from both directions. Personally, I don’t have a problem with Columbus Day.

That said, in order to facilitate the eventual departure from all politically incorrect holidays, I suggest we just get on with it and change everything immediately. Here are my recommendations:

New Year’s Day: This is politically incorrect because not all cultures consider January 1 to be the first of the new year. In fact, the entire 12-month calendar we use is politically incorrect because not all cultures use it. I suggest we just end this holiday entirely and return all peoples to to the use of myriad calendars. There are lots to pick from so let’s not pick any one calendar over any other because that would be offensive to some subset of the human race. Let the Jews use their own calendar. Let the Chinese use their own calendar. Let the Muslims use their own calendar. And in the interest of reparations for past calendar discrimination, I vote we resurrect the use of all obsolete calendars. I’m sure there are people just itching to use an Egyptian, Aztec, or Roman calendar.

And don’t worry if a particular calendar isn’t accurate by modern standards. If I’ve learned anything from my children’s new Common Core-based homework, it’s that things no longer need to be correct. They just need to be “reasonable”. I’m sure all of the 75 or so current, obsolete, and proposed calendars I was able to find through Google have something “reasonable” to offer. If nothing else, I’m sure the people at Microsoft are looking for a challenge. I can’t wait to see how they modify their Outlook product to handle all of these calendars. Scheduling meetings will be half-day adventure. Woo hoo! Viva political correctness.

Martin Luther King, Day: I don’t have a problem with this day because the guy was a Republican and that pisses off liberals when they learn of that little tidbit of information.  Wait, I do have a problem with this holiday.  While he did do things lots of people appreciate, he was just another American fighting for what he thought was right.  We can’t go around giving holidays to all the people who fight for what they think is right.  We can’t go around giving holidays to all the people who did great things.  We’d run out of days on the calendar and nobody would ever go to work.  What about Ben Franklin, Rosa Parks, Thomas Paine, Susan B Anthony, Thomas Edison, General Patton, Elvis Presley, etc. I think you get my point.  There are too many people to recognize.  Let’s outlaw all holidays designed to honor and celebrate any single American.  It’s offensive to the ones who don’t get their own holiday or to the people for whom their favorite person does not get a holiday. I think I’m pretty special. I want my own holiday.  See?  I just offended someone with that idea.

Groundhog Day: Let’s just end this blatant display of materialism and chicanery.  This is nothing but a ploy to bring tourists and media to a small town in western Pennsylvania.  Who in their right mind believes the groundhog “sees” a shadow? Besides, the whole thing is oppressive. The “Inner Circle” is a bunch of old white MALE “dignitaries” standing around in top hats exploiting a rodent for their own personal profit. I seriously don’t see how this can be allowed to go on for one more year. It’s despicable.  Where is the feminist and environmentalist outrage?

Valentine’s Day: What can I say here? It’s offensive on so many levels. For starters, it celebrates Christianity.  This was originally the Feast of Saint Valentine.  That’s a deal breaker right there. Christianity is inherently politically incorrect. I could stop right here.  But let’s continue.  A historical symbol of Valentine’s Day is Cupid, the Roman god of desire, erotic love, attraction and affection. Surely that offends Christians to know a Roman god is a key figure for their feast day.  Plus, let’s be honest here, a winged infant is definitely indicative of some form child abuse. Someone better call Child Protective Services. Also, this holiday is offensive to all single people and people not in a romantic relationship.  Whether they are single by choice or single because they are annoying or single because they just haven’t met their true love . . . it’s detrimental to their self esteem to be excluded by a holiday.  Last, but not least, the pro-capitalism, materialism is offensive. All that money spent on cards, flowers, dinners, and jewelry should be given to the government so they can spend it on important things like giving it to our enemies in foreign countries.

Presidents’ Day: This is an easy one to end.  I find the idea of celebrating a holiday that celebrates the likes of Obama to be offensive.  I know liberals find the idea of celebrating a holiday that celebrates the likes of Bush to be offensive.  Done. Remember all those mentally frail individuals who suffer mental anguish after Presidential elections? Some of whom actually seek medical treatment and/or sue? Let’s just save them the agony and not have them relive those moments.

Mardi Gras: It’s related to Christianity. It’s politically incorrect. Let’s move on.

St. Patrick’s Day: Yet another holiday linked to Christianity. Ergo, politically incorrect by default.  Plus, it appears to celebrate a single pale-skinned ,European group of peoples.  That’s also politically incorrect and offensive to everyone who is not Irish.  Additionally, many individuals who celebrate do so with drinking beer.  Too much drink can lead to questionable behavior and someone might be offended by what someone says or does.  Because someone might be offended, we might as well cancel this holiday right now. No need to take risks.

April Fool’s Day: I suggest we keep this one. It’s a great day for Obama supporters to celebrate themselves.

Easter: Considered by many to be the most holy of Christian holidays. Totally offensive just because of that. As the Atheists ask, “why do you people insist on celebrating a fairy tale?”  Plus, the pagans are still pissed off because Christians stole the Oester name from the Norse peoples. I’m sure Michelle Obama would love to see an end of all the chocolate bunnies, sugary peeps, and jelly beans (if for no reason other than Ronald Reagan liked them).  It doesn’t take a village to raise a child these days, it takes an oppressive and intrusive government.  I’m sure the artificial grass pisses off the environmentalists, too.  I bet it takes forever to degrade.

Earth Day: We need to keep this one because how can saving the earth possibly be offensive to anyone? Oh, yeah, it offends me when they take away my incandescent bulbs and want them replaced with toxic fluorescent bulbs that make my eyes feel wonky.  It also offends me when they take my hard earned tax dollars and give them to some fly by night “green” energy company with friends in high places.  However, my opinion doesn’t matter because I’m a fiscally conservative, social libertarian. I’m not a progressive or a socialist or a communist so I’m not allowed to have an opinion on environmental issues. In fact, because I am a “climate change denier”; many liberals think I need to be put in jail or at least sent to a reeducation camp. (I’m not kidding.)

Mother’s Day: There are people with crappy mothers.  This day makes them feel depressed.  This day offends them. Time to outlaw it.

Memorial Day: This day celebrates people who died fighting to further the western ideals of freedom. So, it’s totally offensive to so many people.  This day celebrates people who died fighting against the exact type of socialism and communism our current day liberals are fighting so hard to expand in the USA.  So, it’s totally offensive to so many people. Definitely needs to be ended.  Liberals consider this a celebration of pure oppression and exploitation and hatred for other peoples. I know several liberals who use this day to berate the “US war machine”.  I can’t believe liberals still allow this to be considered a holiday.

Father’s Day: See, Mother’s Day, above.  This is even more offensive due to the large number of kids growing up without a father. Instead of fixing that problem, let’s just outlaw this holiday because we don’t want so many kids feeling excluded.

Independence Day: Perhaps the most offensive non-Christian holiday on the calendar.  A holiday that celebrates exceptionalism, patriotism, and freedom.  Liberals would rather this be changed to “Dependence Day” in honor of all the entitlement programs, multi-generation welfare families, and government employee unions.  Instead of “God Bless America” the tag line will now be “God Damn America” in honor of Obama’s pastor. American flags are now considered offensive and politically incorrect. Better to change it to a hammer and sickle before someone’s feelings get hurt.

Labor Day: Liberals love this celebration of socialism, communism, and unions. We’ll never get rid of this day. Ever.

Halloween:  I know a lot of Christians who have already outlawed this celebration at their houses. They consider it a gateway to the occult.  Personally, I love Halloween.  Then again, this holiday has links to Christianity.  It is the start of Allhallowtide.  We better outlaw it, just to be safe. We don’t want to offend anyone.  Christianity is totally politically incorrect.

Veteran’s Day: This day conjures up similar complaints as Memorial day.  This celebrates our military.  Many liberals consider our military to be a male-dominated, war machine that takes money from the mouths of welfare babies.  It needs to be outlawed.

Thanksgiving: This makes a lot of liberals mad for the same reasons they don’t like Columbus Day. Liberals consider Thanksgiving to be a celebration of pale-skin fueled genocide.  Sit down with a hard core liberal feminist and they’ll tell you John Smith was a child molester when it came to Pocahontas.  Don’t forget the mental anguish PETA people experience when all of those turkeys are slaughtered so oppressed women around the country can slave all day while their oppressor husbands watch politically incorrect sports with exploited cheerleaders.  Some liberals insist we rename it “National Ethnic Cleansing Day”. Not kidding.  Let’s end this before someone gets hurt.  As a final note, the whole “Black Friday” pisses off liberals because a) it uses the word “black” in an arguably negative way and b) it celebrates materialism and capitalism.

Christmas: I don’t even need to go there. It’s so patently politically incorrect. It goes without saying. It needs to be outlawed.  Immediately.  Reparations should probably be paid to to all peoples who do not celebrate this holiday.

So, there you go.  Every holiday needs to be outlawed because somewhere there is at least one thin-skinned, mentally fragile individual who will find a reason to find it offensive. Let’s do it by Executive Order. Yeah. That’s the answer.

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No, they are not human rights. Sorry.

A FB friend posted the following status:

Universal access to healthcare, education, water and food are essential human rights.  Agree or disagree?  Those who disagree please tell me which of your children will serve as tribute in the next hunger games?

Here is my response:

A right is something that is inherent in being a human being. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are rights. Healthcare and education are not human rights because they cannot be obtained w/out demanding them from another. If I have to force someone (wither the provider or the taxpayer) to give me those things/services without paying for them myself they can’t be rights. I can’t force a doctor to fix me nor can I can’t force a person to teach me. The last two are not human rights, however, the right to access to those things are human rights. I have no right to demand someone give me water nor can I demand someone give me food. However, I should have every right to obtain them whether I shop at a store or hunt in the woods. Healthcare, education, water, and food are not human rights in and of themselves. They are goods and services to be exchanged, quid pro quo for something of value. Don’t get me wrong, I support a lot of charities because I think people need help obtaining these goods and services. But, they are not rights. To make them rights would be to allow others to be forced/coerced to provide them at the expense of others or by having the goods or services paid for by people not in receipt of the goods or services. That is tantamount to slavery and is why every institution of communism has eventually failed.

The Constitution Should Not Be Conditional Based Upon Technology

I run into people, liberals and (perhaps most regrettably) conservatives, who shrug their shoulders when I my voice concern over unconstitutional government spying on things such as email, Facebook accounts, Twitter accounts, phone calls, text messages, Skype interactions, and other electronic forms of communications. For some inexplicable reason, they don’t seem very concerned since it’s all based upon electronics.

However, when I ask them if they’d be OK with a federal agent demanding to sit down with them and their best friend as they share coffee and conversation at a Panera restaurant, they all say it would not be acceptable.

If I ask them if they’d be OK with a federal agent opening every piece of mail they send just to see if there’s anything interesting written inside, they all say it would not be acceptable.

When I ask if it would be ok to have federal agents barge into their houses and listen to every conversation between the members of their family, they all say it would not be acceptable.

After asking if they would be offended to find a federal agent in the back seat of their car, listening to their cell phone conversations, they all say it would not be acceptable.

When I ask the same individuals to explain how those three examples are different from the current invasions of privacy we are experiencing, they all wake up and realize there really isn’t any difference.  But when I then ask them what they’re going to do about it, the typical responses are things like, “there’s nothing I can do about”, “it is what it is”, and “it’s not right but I can’t give up my cell phone or my Internet”.

The Constitution memorializes our inherent rights. The Constitution does not carve out unwritten exceptions to those rights.  The Constitution does not have waivers for certain types of technologies.

Tell me in your comments . . . what makes so many people not care when the government spying is done “electronically” and not “in person”?

Why I Hate Socialism (or What I Learned In Sixth Grade)

The moment I realized I was a conservative, and not a socialist or communist, goes back to before I was even truly aware of political beliefs and the role of government in my country. It goes back to sixth grade. I remember exactly when it happened. Here’s the true story.

My parents had moved the year before and my new school was different. Unlike my old school, the kids at this new school were very worldly. They talked about sex, wore bras, and cursed. I didn’t fit in. Not only was I still considered one of the new kids a year later, I was also the shy, quiet, geeky kid without designer jeans who played in the band and was in the gifted program. It was pretty inevitable that I was socially grouped (against my will) into the nerd group.

My best friend was another of the shy, quiet, geeky kids without designer jeans. We hung with the other gifted kids. We were a lot like the guys on The Big Bang Theory only we were about 20 years younger. The other kids didn’t hate us. We just weren’t cool enough for them and, let’s be honest, we didn’t fit in with them as well as we fit in with each other. The cool kids usually kept their distance from us nerds.

That was, until the dreaded sixth grade group project was assigned. Normally, when the teacher asked us to pair up for classroom activities, everyone picked a friend. Naturally, us geek types would search each other out and become a formidable force. We knew, particularly when paired up, we would be getting a good grade. The annual sixth grade group project didn’t work that way. The teachers grouped us into teams of four. This was when the cool kids suddenly started sucking up to and befriending the nerds.

Us gifted, geeky, nerdy kids were parsed out and distributed. The teachers did their best to make sure each team had a nice “distribution” of intellect on each team. I don’t know if the teachers tried to hide it, but it was so obvious. Each team had one of the gifted kids, two of the average kids, and one of the kids who could probably benefit from revisiting 1st grade even though he or she was 11 or 12 years old.

My team was set, there were four of us. Two boys and two girls. The group project was to pick a subject; thoroughly research it; and then write a paper, do something artistic (like paint a picture, do a diorama, sculpt a figure), and do a presentation. Instead of loving this, this was the project all the nerds hated. This project would be a huge amount of our grade and we were all graded as a team. There were no individual grades. We would all receive the same grade based upon the quality of our projects. Shit.

I can still see the four of us sitting at this blond wood table near the railing overlooking the library below. Three of the cool kids and me, the token nerd. The first thing we had to do was pick a subject. I argued for something interesting and easy for all of us to do well, like a historical figure, a historic event, or perhaps an artist or musician. Unfortunately, I was the nerdy one. The other three were in the “in crowd”. They immediately joined forces, ignored me, and decided on the perfect subject: FOOTBALL! What the hell?

They said they took a vote and it was three to one in favor of football. I didn’t even know there was a vote. Fine, whatever, we’ll go with football. I knew there was zero chance of convincing them otherwise. At this point, one of the guys decided to be the team leader. Apparently, that had been decided with another secret vote. I recommended we all break out the three major things we had to do (paper, presentation, and artistic item) but also divide up the research tasks. The guy who declared himself the group leader took a different approach. I was given the task of doing all the research and they would divide up the paper, presentation, and art project.

Great, the geek gets the boring part. Fine, at least I knew I could shape the content of our project by doing the research. We were all still sitting around the table when they told me to let them know when I was done with my part so they could start theirs. I argued again about how we should all be doing the research so it would go faster. They disagreed. Still, I wanted a good grade on this so I threw myself into the research. I left those three asshats sitting at that table while I went to the library downstairs and started pulling books about football. I later told my teacher about the imbalance and she said it was democracy in action. Democracy in action, my ass, I thought to myself.

Over the next few weeks, I kept asking my team how they were preparing for their sections based upon the research I was pulling and giving to them. They kept telling me how they’d start their parts when I finished mine. All the while I’m really starting to panic over our possible grade. At our group meeting right after I finished my research, I handed over the final copies of what I had found. I was exhausted. I had done some fine research. I had gone to several libraries, read several books, cracked open numerous encyclopedias, watched movies, etc. I had enough history, photos, quotes, biographies, auto biographies, and other materials to sink a football stadium. These three kids had more than enough to write a doctoral dissertation, create a three-hour documentary, and erect a 50 foot diorama.

Instead, the leader looked at me and asked me which of the three big items I wanted to work on. Flabbergasted, I told them I did all the research so I thought I was done. They all said, that wasn’t fair. Fair my ass. Then it hit me. If I let them go it alone I was looking at nothing better than a C for a grade. I had no choice. If I wanted a snowball’s chance in hell of getting an A, I had to keep working. So, I offered to pair up with the one guy to write the paper. While this lazy ass sat there playing tabletop football with one of those folded paper triangles, I wrote the outline, listed some key footnotes, and handed it over. I told him to take what I had given him, write the paper, and then give it to me so I could edit it. I got the paper back the following week. He handed me three written pages, double spaced, and it was all about the Redskins. I could have saved my teacher the effort and scratched out a big, huge F at the top. I told him to try harder. He refused. I rewrote the entire paper all by myself.

The girl who was supposed to do the presentation had put together about 10 index cards. She showed us her 2 minute presentation and it was laughable. She wasn’t a dumb person, she just played one to make sure she stayed in the cool group and kept the attention of the boys. Later, she actually apologized to me and admitted she could have done a lot more. I added another 30-40 index cards and also drew some visuals for use during the presentation.

The other guy, the one doing the “artistic” item actually had a pretty decent model of a football stadium. Half of it looked like an old stadium and half of it looked like a modern stadium. The intent was to show how things had changed over time. It was actually pretty cool. It also had “parental involvement” written all over it. I knew he probably didn’t do more than 10% of the entire model, but I didn’t care. At this point, I was just glad I didn’t have to do it myself.

The big day came. We handed in the paper (which I pretty much wrote entirely by myself), we gave the presentation (which I pretty much wrote entirely by myself with the visuals I created entirely by myself), and we handed in the stadium (which the one guy’s mother obviously did for him). Our final grade? An A. I did almost everything while they hung out talking, playing table top football, and watching me work. Yet, in the end we all received the same grade even though they all deserved an F.

That was the moment I cemented my conservatism. I decided: the students out there busting their asses to EARN an A shouldn’t have to share that grade with the ones who don’t even try. My three team members were like a bunch of lazy socialists/communists, sitting there on their butts waiting to redistribute my good grade. Particularly the self-proclaimed “leader” who assigned me most of the work. I probably put in well over 200 hours on that project and the others probably put in about 4 each (outside of their hanging out during our teacher-mandated team meetings). I swore I would never, ever tolerate something like that ever again. I remember my teacher complimenting my group on our great team work and our fantastic project. She knew damn well I did most of the work yet she never said a word. My three lazy teammates never even said thank you. Apparently, my teacher was a socialist.

Notes about me:

I am a life long conservative. I despise socialism and communism in all its forms. I detest wealth redistribution and I hate the concept of “from each according to their ability, to each according to their need.” I still refuse to do group projects.